The Inferno
What to expect during this stage
Stage Two: The Inferno
This is where the truth hits like a bomb. You realise it wasn’t “just a difficult relationship”—it was abuse. The mask is off, the damage is visible, and you’re left to face the emotional wreckage. It’s messy, overwhelming, and exhausting—but it’s also a vital part of your transformation.
The Explosion of Realisation
You’ve uncovered the truth: you were abused. The shock is enormous. Everything you thought you knew—about them, yourself, your life—is called into question.
Emotional and Physical Shutdown
You may cry uncontrollably, feel emotionally numb, or be in a freeze state. Basic tasks feel impossible. Sleep becomes erratic—too much or none at all—and you may turn to food for comfort or control.
Loss of Identity and Direction
You don’t recognise yourself. You question everything—your choices, beliefs, even your personality. The person you used to be feels lost in the wreckage.
Withdrawal and Isolation
You pull away from friends, family, and life in general. Whether out of shame, exhaustion, or the need to protect yourself, social interaction feels unbearable.
Cognitive Dissonance and Mental Fog
You swing between clarity and confusion. You know the truth—and yet, part of you still doubts it. The internal battle between reality and illusion is exhausting.
Grief and Going No Contact
You begin grieving—not just the relationship, but the fantasy of what you thought it was. You may reduce or cut off contact to survive, even if it hurts.